April 24, 2023

What is Secure Attachment Style? How Does It Affect Your Relationships?

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re interested in understanding what secure attachment style is all about. Maybe you’re struggling in your relationships, or you’re just curious about how attachment styles impact our lives. Whatever the reason, this blog post is a great place to start.

What is Secure attachment style?

Attachment styles are the patterns of behavior that we develop in childhood based on our interactions with our primary caregivers. These patterns can have a significant impact on our adult relationships, and the most desirable attachment style is the secure attachment style.


So, what exactly is a secure attachment style? At its core, secure attachment is all about healthy emotional bonding and trust (a). If you have a secure attachment style, you feel confident in your emotional connections and can communicate effectively with others. You’re comfortable expressing your needs and desires in a relationship, and you have a deep sense of trust in your partner.

Difference Between Disorganized & Avoidant Attachment Style.

Now, let’s talk about the other attachment styles. Insecure-avoidant individuals tend to avoid close emotional relationships, while insecure-anxious individuals tend to become overly attached and clingy in relationships. Disorganized individuals have inconsistent and unpredictable behaviors in relationships, often due to trauma or abuse.


It’s important to note that our attachment style isn’t set in stone. We can change our attachment style with effort and commitment. Therapy can be an effective way to work through past traumas and develop a more secure attachment style. Additionally, developing healthy communication skills and practicing vulnerability in relationships can help build emotional bonds and trust.

Emotions across attachment styles

Signs of Secure Attachment Style?

Here are a few questions to help you figure out if you have a secure attachment style. Keep in mind that these questionnaires are rather a general checklist helping you identify secure attachment traits (b). You may need to see a therapist to verify your type of attachment style. 


  • I am comfortable depending on others.
  • I know that others will be there when I need them.
  • I do not often worry about being abandoned.
  • I find it relatively easy to get close to others.
  • I do not often worry about someone getting close to me.
  • I am comfortable having others depend on me.

These questions can help you start to reflect on your attachment style and how it may be affecting your relationships. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong answer, and everyone’s attachment style is unique. If you are struggling with your attachment style, consider seeking professional help to work through any past traumas or develop healthier relationship patterns.

Tips To Developing Secure Attachment Style

It’s important to note that while these tips can be helpful, they are most effective when used in conjunction with professional help. A therapist can provide personalized guidance and support in identifying situations and relationships where open communication is needed, as well as help you express your emotions, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate secure attachments.


  • Practice expressing your emotions to others in a healthy and appropriate way. This can help build trust and deepen your relationships.
  • When possible, communicate openly and honestly with others. This can help strengthen your relationships and build a sense of security.
  • Practice active listening by truly paying attention to what others are saying and responding with empathy and understanding.
  • Build self-awareness by reflecting on your own thoughts and feelings, as well as how they impact your relationships.
  • Work on developing healthy boundaries in your relationships by respecting your own needs and those of others.
  • Practice self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you feel fulfilled.

We hope this article has helped you understand what secure attachment style is all about. Remember, no matter what your attachment style is, you deserve healthy and fulfilling relationships. With time, effort, and support, you can build the strong emotional bonds that lead to a happier and more satisfying life.

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