Skip to content 
It can be hard to tell a rough patch from something more. A few honest questions can help you see what is going on, and what to do next.
Maybe you have been feeling off for a while. Not in a way you can easily point to. You still get up, go to work, and answer messages. But things that used to feel good now feel flat, and you are more tired than your schedule explains. You might have started to wonder, quietly, whether this is more than a bad week.
That question is worth taking seriously. This post is meant to help you check in with yourself. It is not a diagnosis, and it cannot replace talking with a professional. But it can help you notice patterns, put words to what you are feeling, and decide whether it is time to reach out. For a fuller overview of the condition itself, see our post on depression signs, types, and treatment.
Why a hard stretch and depression are not the same thing
Everyone goes through low periods. A breakup, a job change, a loss, or just a long winter can leave anyone feeling down for a while. The National Institute of Mental Health puts it plainly: everyone feels sad or low sometimes, but these feelings usually pass.
Depression is different. According to NIMH, it can cause severe symptoms that affect how a person feels, thinks, and handles daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed, a person has symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks.
So one useful way to think about it is less about how bad a single day feels, and more about the pattern. How long has this been going on? How often does it show up? And how much is it getting in the way of your life?
Questions to ask yourself
There is no right or wrong answer to these. They are simply a way to slow down and take stock. You might find it helpful to jot down your answers, since NIMH notes that taking some notes about your symptoms before seeing a provider can help.
1. How long has this been going on?
- Has your low mood or loss of interest lasted more than two weeks?
- Did it start around a specific event, or did it creep in slowly?
- Does it lift on good days, or stay with you even when things go well?
2. What has changed in your day-to-day life?
- Are you sleeping much more, or much less, than usual?
- Has your appetite or weight changed without trying?
- Are you finding it harder to focus, remember things, or make decisions?
3. How are you feeling about yourself?
- Do you feel guilty, worthless, or hopeless more often than before?
- Are you more irritable or restless than usual?
- Do you feel “empty,” or like you have no feelings at all?
4. How is it affecting your life?
- Have you stopped doing things you used to enjoy?
- Are you pulling away from friends or family?
- Is it getting in the way of work, school, or caring for your home or family?
If you answered yes to several of these, and it has been going on for two weeks or more, that is a good reason to talk with someone. A professional can help you sort out what is happening and what might help.
Depression can look different at different ages
One reason depression can be hard to spot is that it does not always look like sadness. NIMH describes how it can show up differently depending on age:
- Children may be anxious or cranky, pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that a parent may die.
- Older children and teens may get into trouble at school, sulk, be easily frustrated, feel restless, or have low self-esteem.
- Young adults are more likely to be irritable, complain of weight gain and oversleeping, and have a negative view of life and the future.
- Middle-aged adults may have more depressive episodes, a lower sex drive, insomnia in the middle of the night, or early morning waking.
- Older adults may report a lack of emotions rather than a depressed mood.
If you are asking these questions on behalf of someone you love, this list may help you see what you have been noticing.
It helps to rule other things out
Not every low, tired stretch is depression. According to NIMH, certain medications and medical conditions, such as viruses or thyroid disorders, can cause the same symptoms as depression. A health care provider can check for these with a physical exam, an interview, and lab tests.
That is one more reason to talk with a professional rather than try to figure it out alone. Getting a clearer picture can point you toward the kind of help that fits.
What talking with a provider is like
That first conversation can feel hard to start, especially if you are not sure what to say. It may help to know what to expect. According to NIMH, a provider may ask when your symptoms began, how long they have lasted, how often they occur, and if they keep you from going out or doing your usual activities.
NIMH also offers a few tips for talking with a health care provider about mental health:
- Make a list of what you want to discuss and any questions you have.
- Describe your symptoms, and be specific about when they started, how severe they are, and how often they happen.
- Share all the medications you take, including over-the-counter drugs, herbal remedies, vitamins, and supplements.
- Consider bringing a close friend or relative for support.
- If a suggested treatment does not feel right, share your concerns and ask about other options.
You can start with your primary care provider or reach out to a therapist directly. Either is a reasonable first step.
Small steps while you figure it out
Self-care is not a replacement for treatment, but it can support you while you sort things out. NIMH suggests a few simple habits:
- Move a little. NIMH notes that just 30 minutes a day of walking can boost your mood.
- Keep a steady rhythm. Try to go to bed and wake up at about the same time each day.
- Eat regular, healthy meals.
- Stay connected. Talk with people you trust about how you are feeling.
- Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and drugs, including medications not prescribed for you, as NIMH advises.
None of these need to be done perfectly. If they feel hard right now, that is useful information too, and worth sharing with a provider.
When to reach out for more support
It may be time to reach out if:
- Your low mood or loss of interest has lasted two weeks or more
- Daily life, work, or relationships are being affected
- You are leaning on alcohol or other substances to cope
- You feel hopeless, or have thoughts of death or of hurting yourself
If you are having thoughts of suicide or feel unsafe, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time of day. In an emergency, call 911.
Therapy for depression at Panahi Counseling
Asking yourself “am I depressed?” can feel uncomfortable. Sometimes just naming the question out loud to another person makes it easier to see what comes next.
At Panahi Counseling, our therapists work with adults across Illinois who are trying to make sense of low mood, whether it started recently or has been around for a long time. Our depression therapy is shaped around your life and your pace. You can read about our therapists to see who might be a good fit.
If you live in Illinois and are looking for a therapist, we offer in-person sessions in Wheaton and online therapy across the state. You are welcome to start with a free 15-minute consultation. It is a low-pressure way to ask questions and see whether it feels right.
Share Post:
Start your therapy journey today.
Schedule a 15-Minute Free Consultation With Our Intake Coordinator.
